Liverpool won a football game today. Now they're putting pressure on Manchester United. Not physical pressure, you understand; Rafa Benitez isn't going to place his hands on Alex Ferguson, and push him as he sleeps. Oh no.. its the subtle intangible kind of pressure, that riddles footballers with self doubt, and forces them Off Their Game.
Liverpool beat Newcastle, who are now also under Pressure. They fear The Drop. Hull, Middlesborough, Newcastle - they're all under Pressure. Expect them to fail. West Bromwich Albion, on the other hand, must have accepted their fate. They've Dropped! They will play with a feeling of liberation - gliding across the pitch, and scoring goals at will.
Of course, all the other teams are struck by a curious malaise - they have Nothing to Play For. They will become despondent and lethargic. For all I know, they'll start going bald as well.
So I confidently predict that next week all the teams in the Premiership will lose, with the exception of West Bromwich Albion. Expect great things from those boys; they're in a great place right now.
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