News from The Right

So the Czechs have signed some treaty or other.. Dave is furious and so are his mates. But why? Let me explain: As you know.. right wing beliefs are a bi-product of sleep deprivation. Margaret Thatcher slept for 3 hours a night - but why isn't DC getting his normal 10 hours kip?

Here's the thing.. Have you seen the new expense allowances for MPs? These Collusa of the World stage have been quite coy about what they're allowed now, but I've got the list exclusively here. So, the allowance for one week:

4 first class stamps,

7 Boot's meal deals,

Hire purchase payments for a Ford Cortina,

One bicycle,

Food for one pet (no larger than a fox),

14 tea bags,

A small jar of instant coffee

Need I say more.. 2 cups of tea a day and a small jar of instant coffee a week! He's jittery and irritable. Not to mention the midnight toilet breaks! Good Lord!